


Cross My Heart (Hope to Die)

by phylocalist



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Fluff, M/M, ghost!gerard - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4258896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phylocalist/pseuds/phylocalist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m not…” Gerard gulps, his eyes flicking between the screen and Frank’s face. “I’m not like - like <i>that</i>, right?”</p><p>Frank turns to the screen for a moment, the demon thing or whatever the hell the bad guy is, screaming and fighting, all of him radiating pure rage and hate. He’s never had to wonder what it is to see yourself in the bad guy, always focusing on the good guy, <i>the human</i>; but, of course, Gerard has to see himself in the non-human. Because that’s what he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cross My Heart (Hope to Die)

**Author's Note:**

> idea taken from au of [this post on tumblr](http://phylocalist.tumblr.com/post/121561781112/murdarioxstomp-yeah-but-ghosts-who-are-friends). all credit to the person who came up with it, i just tried to develop it into a story (and probably failed). fic is unbeta'd and all mistakes are on me.

Frank’s gaze is stuck to the television, his eyes seemingly unable to break away from it, his hand stretching out towards the popcorn bowl on his side from time to time. He’s leaning against the headboard of his bed, Gerard mirroring him a few feet away, the bowl of popcorn in between them. It’s not like Gerard can eat it, but Frank always leaves it close to him, like an offer for Gerard to reach out and grab some if he ever wants it.

They’re watching Beowulf, the animated film, and Frank’s been so into it he’s almost forgotten about everything else around him, until he can see and feel Gerard twitch by his side out of the corner of his eye.

It’s weird, this effect Gerard has on the air around him, but Frank supposes it isn’t that weird considering he’s a ghost. He’s generally very solid and visible, but his form tends to lose opacity if he gets overwhelmed or he’s scared, and right now he seems to be flickering in between visible and not-so-visible quite a lot. He’s grimacing, as well.

Frank knows he should say something, try to comfort Gerard from whatever’s upsetting him, but he’s so engulfed in the movie he can’t bring himself to say or do anything. He just keeps watching, the scenes brutal and mesmerizing.

They’re both quiet, the only sound echoing in the room being the ones coming from the TV, and sometimes Frank’s breathing. Gerard’s voice breaks the silence.

“Frankie,” he says softly, almost like he’s scared to talk.

Frank thought there was nothing that could take him out of his trance, but Gerard’s voice snaps him out of it in a second. He turns his eyes towards Gerard and can see his form has been losing opacity, doesn’t look as solid as he normally does. Frank frowns.

“What’s wrong, Gee?” He doesn’t even bother skirting around it, he knows something’s wrong and he wants Gerard to tell him.

Gerard’s about to reply when a visceral scream coming from the screen startles him. His whole body start to flicker again, from solid to almost invisible, and he starts to shake. Frank reaches out and for a moment he’s scared he won’t be able to touch Gerard again, that his hand will go right through Gerard’s arm like in the beginning; but it doesn’t, it settles against Gerard’s cold skin and Frank breathes out a sigh of relief. He starts to rub Gerard’s arm, if only for comfort because he knows he won’t be able to warm his skin.

“Hey.” Frank’s voice is soft when he speaks, his focus shifted entirely from the movie in front of him to Gerard. “We can stop watching it if you want. I just - thought you liked these kind of movies?”

Frank can feel Gerard taking deep breaths, his eyes closed, like he’s willing himself to not panic or show any of the emotions that are very obviously overwhelming him. He once told Frank he had never been good at hiding what he felt, it always showed in his face and his eyes, but now he was a ghost it was all the more obvious.

He really doesn’t understand. He’s pretty sure Gerard’s seen more hardcore shit than this, and this is an _animated_ movie. But if it’s making Gerard so scared he’s almost disappearing right in front of Frank’s eyes he’s more than willing to stop it and put some other movie on. It’s not like it would ruin his day or anything.

“I did,” Gerard says in between taking huge breaths. “But now I -”

It seems like he can’t continue, like he’s choking on his own words. He turns to Frank with his lip caught between his teeth and his eyes flooded with worry. If he could still cry, Frank’s pretty sure he would be doing so right now. He’s about to reach out for the remote to just turn the TV off, not willing to witness any more of this, Gerard suffering for who knows what reason, but Gerard speaks again.

“I’m not…” Gerard gulps, his eyes flicking between the screen and Frank’s face. “I’m not like - like _that_ , right?”

Frank turns to the screen for a moment, the scene developing at the moment violent and graphic, the demon thing or whatever the hell the bad guy is, screaming and fighting, all of him radiating pure rage and hate. He’s never had to wonder what it is to see yourself in the bad guy, always focusing on the good guy, the _human_ ; but, of course, Gerard has to see himself in the non-human. Because that’s what he is.

Frank’s eyes soften when he turns back to Gerard. He doesn’t understand completely, of course, but he can see how badly this is affecting Gerard and he wants to be as reassuring as possible. He wants to be Gerard’s rock as much as Gerard is his. He’s shaking his head in a negative while he thinks the words through.

“No, you’re not. You have never been and I don’t think you’ll ever be like that, Gee.”

Gerard’s wavering in between solidity and invisibility seems to calm down at Frank’s words,  slumps his shoulders. But then it’s back and Frank curses under his breath.

“But - how can you know?” Gerard’s wringing his hands, trying to avoid looking at Frank in the eye and not letting his gaze stray away all at the same time. “How can you be sure I won’t be like that? Even - even if I am not right now, there’s no possible way to be sure.”

Gerard talks fast, all words coming out in one single breath, and of fucking course he’s already doomed himself before he’s even given Frank time to answer to his questions. Frank sighs, exasperated.

“Hey.” He shakes Gerard’s arm, but it does nothing for getting Gerard’s attention on him. “Fucking -” Frank forcefully makes his way towards the side of the bed Gerard’s sitting on, sending popcorn flying out everywhere in the process. Gerard lets out a little yelp at the popcorn. “Listen to me.”

He ends up straddling Gerard’s thighs, both of his hands on Gerard’s cheeks, not letting him break the eye contact. Frank’s eyes are intense, full of trust and love. Gerard’s are scared, of himself, of what he could become.

“You won’t.” Frank says each word with intent, they sound like a promise. “You won’t ever be like that.”

“But -” Gerard tries to argue, but Frank takes one of his hands off Gerard’s cheek and puts two fingers over Gerard’s mouth, shutting him up. Or trying, at least, because Gerard still mumbles around the fingers. “You can’t be sure.”

“I’m as sure of you as I could ever possibly be.”

Frank’s heart pounds at the words and he can feel a blush high on his cheeks. They could have a totally different meaning if they were in a different situation, if he wasn’t trying to comfort Gerard, to convince him for the upteenth time that he isn’t a monster and will never be. And he means them _that way_ too, but this is not the time to focus on that.

“You won’t,” Frank repeats for good measure and he can see Gerard’s eyes soften, letting Frank’s words and voice really get to him and make their way around his brain. Frank moves his hand back to Gerard’s cheek and brings their faces closer, bumping their foreheads together, both of their eyes slipping shut.

“Okay but,” Gerard starts again and Frank exhales, his warm breath ghosting over Gerard’s cold skin. “If it ever seems like I _could_ …”

“I won’t let you.” Frank intervenes before Gerard can expand that thought any further. “You won’t, but I won’t let you.”

Frank can feel Gerard’s tension ease away at his words and internally thanks whoever’s watching and helped him along, if anyone at all.

“Promise?” Gerard’s voice is a bit shaky, but he seems a lot more composed than before.

Frank thinks he can’t possibly get any moment better than this. These were not the perfect circumstances, but they led to the perfect moment. So he angles his head, and brushes his lips against Gerard’s. They’re cold, just like the rest of him, and the sensation sends a shiver down Frank’s spine. Gerard gasps against his lips.

“Cross my heart,” he mumbles against Gerard’s lips, the movement sending jolts of electricity all over his body. He feels Gerard’s lips stretch in a smile against his own.

“Hope to die.” Gerard finishes for him.

 


End file.
